Were going back to Mt Adams. Check the website for further details.
Still looking for volunteers for the 2nd Annual Chicken & Booze Golf Outing June 2nd at Devou Golf Course. There is a volunteer meeting on April 5th 7pm at Sully's Downtown. If you have any questions or are interested in volunteering for one of the following committees send me an email. Dean@chickenandbooze.com
Sponsorship Committee
Silent Auction/Raffle Committee
Golfer Aquisition Committee.
Event Day Logistics Committee.
All Proceeds from the 2nd annual Chicken&Booze Open will once again benefit the Autism Society of Greater Cincinnati.
Still looking for volunteers for the 2nd Annual Chicken & Booze Golf Outing June 2nd at Devou Golf Course. There is a volunteer meeting on April 5th 7pm at Sully's Downtown. If you have any questions or are interested in volunteering for one of the following committees send me an email. Dean@chickenandbooze.com
Sponsorship Committee
Silent Auction/Raffle Committee
Golfer Aquisition Committee.
Event Day Logistics Committee.
All Proceeds from the 2nd annual Chicken&Booze Open will once again benefit the Autism Society of Greater Cincinnati.
225 comments:
1 – 200 of 225 Newer› Newest»Well here it is again, the annual complaint about the timing of april booze. I had spyed a proposed date of the 28th or 21st originally. O the flutter in my booze hardened heart. But it was not meant to be, April booze inevetibly falls on my yearly pilgramage to the armpit of America. But why would you voluntarily go to such a place of disdain you say. From pain comes pleasure my friend. So here is my ever weakening plea to change the date of the April booze to a more agreeable 21st or 28th. I fear this will fall on deaf ears yet again. Take up my cause fellow boozers! Make your voices or text more apropo heard! A wee bit of logic, a choice of the 21st or later would make the intervals between boozing more or less equal. Until we meet again boozers,
Selfish Bastard
Boozers, April 14th seems so far away...How will we ever make it to that date...I yearn for the booze....Booze...Booze....
I need boobs. I mean booze. Of course both are very soothing to me.
To My Husband: In reference to the above posting on boobs and booze: I told you to stop posting those kind of comments!!!
Boobs!
Booze!
Chest Hams!
Danny Devitos! Thanks Suni!
hehehehe....welcome
I cant wait until next week. I hope it is not cold. I just got a new striped bikini and sassy wig. How I love strutting around with my junk packed in a bikini bottom. The view from the back is a little disconcerting, but face on I look fantabulous! See you there!
Are you the guy that just got arrested for wandering around the park? If so, I think you would be better off as a brunette.
Did you ever see Clan of the Cave Bear? Had Darryl Hannah the one eyed mermaid from Kill Bill. Well she was the outcast in the clan because she was a blondie, but when she goes to the all clan conference she meets a blue eyed Geico representitive just like her. Oh the grunts and simplistic cave words that follow! Only a short while later in the cave drug fueled frenzy to entice the almighty cave bear, her new found love interest gets his head chewed off by said bear. What is the point here? Love is a battlefield? Once an outcast always an outcast? Geico sucks? The answer is simple, the movie Caveman with Ringo Starr is far superior. It has all the cave references you could want. Animatronic dinosaurs, poop jokes, thinly veiled drug spoofs, Lyle Alzado, Dennis Quaid, and Shelly Long(all of whom resided in caves at some time during the eighties), and a giant fried egg. And in addition the outcast(Starr) gets the girl in the end. Not the buxom cave babe who gets pushed into a giant pile of aforementioned poop but the Long character who although kind of a klutz and a flattie, is his true love. In realsies Ringo got the buxom wench which was win win for all until time progressed and Starr had to go back to his day job of conveying all of Paul McCartneys excrement to Liverpool and hurling it at the headmasters window for belittling his musical ambition as a child. Run on!
The Scarlet ChickenNipple has been foresook.
To schedule a pub crawl without consulting the Nipple is a crime against humanity.
A crawl without the number one booze hound is a hollow event at best.
When you that empty pit in your stomach is gnawing at you like a bleeding peptic ulcer, the Nipple will not be there to heal your soul and ease your fears.
You are on your own my friends!!
You will rue the day that I was crossed.
SCN
Oh so many days(weeks?) until the next non golf related booze. July? are you frakkin serious? So be it, the wandering Bedouin will join us in the heat of July to slake the alco-thirst that is inevitable in that torpid month. I propose contructing a float, giant chicken natch, to ferry all boozers fro and to the bar route wherever it may be.
Yay! Boozing in July!!!! I can't wait.....Boobies in July!
Ooot! Ooot!
Hey y'all...July is right around the corner. Ed and I are SO excited!
Need boozing...got any booze? Booze? Got any booze? Need Booze...
Boobies...Ta-Ta's....Count Juggula's
Did you guys take pics at the last boozing?
Good fortune to the Grand Boozebah in his upcoming Pig Flying contest. I would like to encourage all of the boozers out there to run or fly to the nearest ticketbastard and purchase a or a lot of tics to the Poison/Ratt/GreatWhiteLionSnake show @ Riverbend on the 12th or 19th June aught7. This is a show surely to entertain. One guys name is Blotzer. How could you not be a Rock and Aquanetter with that moniker?
Ain't no use running, fool! I know where your momma parks your house!
All right, brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.
I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doing a goat, couple of pigs watching.
Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
Guess how many boobs I saw today... Fifteen!
I love you so much I'm going to take you behind the middle school and get you pregnant.
What in tarnation is going on in this booze-laden blog.
I don't understand any of it, but I love it!!!!!!!
I grow weary of this sexually suggestive dancing.
I have misplaced my pants.
I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff. And I want in.
What are we speaking here, Kling?
Remember that time we saw Morrisey and it did'nt suck? Neither do I.
Thats why all my friends are making 30,000 working for Ivory soap.
Pipe down over there Baby.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-------BOOBS
If I'm addicted to anything, it's sparklers.
A hand job is still a job, okay?
A healthy baby is worth $10-20,000 on the internet, even if it's Chinese.
plum smugglers
No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist.
I have a Ph.D in tang.
452?
Your watch is stuck in my pubes.
I'm pooping!
Anal McLooney
Well isn't that just the pickle on the giant crap sandwich that is my day.
Don't worry scrote. There are plenty of 'tards out there living really kick ass lives.
I don't care if she's my cousin or not, I'm gonna knock those boots again tonight.
What the deuce?
I'd rather be shooting hookers.
I'm a blimp pirate! I even have a cape!
Hoagies and grinders, hoagies and grinders, navy beans.
They have a greater stride because of the slippery.
Bukowski? Yea, we're talkin about cocks!
That was one crazy Yom Kippur.
Someone tell uglyface bigtits to stop leanin on my arm.
You don't want a dirty martini, you want a double shot of vodka with an olive.
My taint's 100% pure bacon.
I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.
G-spot,
The sacred parchment is not to be displayed at this location.
You anger the booze gods.
Kick her in the ribs.
Fagabeefee???!!!!
The farmer and the cow man should be friends. One man tries to push a plow, the other tries to milk a cow, but that's no reason why they can't be friends.
Roundtine!!!
It's just like a hot knife through butter.
Some times words serve me well,
sometimes words can go to hell for all that they do.
And for every dream that took me high, there's been a dream to pass me by, I know it's so true.
God Bless you Harry
My taint is tainted with melanine.
It seeped there from the goat chow I keep in my room. I love those slit eyed can chewers.
You go first so I can see your beautiful vertical smile.
I'm like Sherlock Holmes, if he played tambourine and shaved his cooch.
Uh oh, yeast infection time!
So many sweet cans and so little time
Always time for sweet cans.
Sexual harrassment is no joke, sweet cans.
My pockets hurt.
I found a moonrock in my nose.
Damn it, I need more bubbles.
is jelly a liquid or mutant solid?
How much do you think a jar of crotch jerky is worth?
is binder a slanderous sexual command?
are funyons formed and baked, or extruded fried food?
Isn't living alone the same as cohabitating with a dreamy depressionist?
Is it unwise to juggle chainsaws without insurance??
When bears wake up from hibernating, are their legs asleep?
Get ready, skanks!
You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.
You know, I was hexed by a troll once and a leprechaun cured that right up.
Garalmglkaklafja!
Queen of the harpies!
For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold.
This is what happens when there's no large gatherings for organized boozing, isn't it?
Hit me with a shovel because I can't believe that I dug you!
Sweet Booze Prayer
Oh booze, bless these boozers from chicken and booze. Increase their tolerance to booze four fold so that they may enjoy your sweet textures in ever increasing abundance. Praise booze, you are truly "The One", not Keanu Reeves. You, who deliver blissful enebriation, giving me glorious super powers and endless supplies of unsubstantiated confidence, how can I adequately praise thee? I am like a lump of clay to be molded by your 90 proof omnipotence. This empty shell anxiously awaits the next time it will be made whole again by your highly anticipated arrival!
Deliver me from sobriety, now and forever.
Amen
What comes first, the peanut or the shell
Does the Sheep at The Edge of a Cliff Kit come with slip-over shoe boots?
you lost me at goodbye
Exactly how do you tell the difference between stale toast and croutons?
If you mix a PBR with a Now-&-Later do you get a P-u-later??
If life is worth living, is death worth dying?
Does jacking off cause your temperature to rise?
I will tie you to a chair. Secure restraints, sturdy constuct and all that. I will then make you watch 'Howard the Duck'. Each time there is an absurd plot point or lack thereof, I will flog you with a flogging instrument of my choice. This will be repeated until you lose consciousness. I will then revive you using kind and medically apt methods. The entire absurdity/flogging/loss of consciousness cycle will repeat itself until you develop a immunity to banality. I will be the sole determinant on that quality. Once this process is completed, we will engage in conversation until we exhaust all our capacity for words that end in 'ity'. We will then watch 'Roadhouse' and marvel at the acting prowess of that blind guy.
I once wrapped a nice piece of salmon in Mary Worth comics and steamed it in my grill. When it came out all succulent and steamy, it spoke to me. It said "I am the future ghost of Mel Brooks, I will grant you three wishes!" I replied "I wish to eat you" My wish was granted. I spent the next three days asking my poop for my other two wishes.
People with a fondness for vagina=clam diggers?
Well huzzah, huzzah. I'll just throw back my legs and pollute my britches with delight.
Fall into the flavor hole.
It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!
Like to eat? Me too, but we all struggle with that new pants every two months snag. Well I've found the solution. A miniature internal Dick Cheney.(available at tinydickcheneylivinginsidemyguts.com). Whats that you say? Thankful to stem cell research being carried on by Barbara Bush, scientists have been able to clone Cheney and shrink him to tiny gut size. The side effects of the shrinking does not enable him to live outside of a human gastrointestinal tract. The POSITIVE side effect is that he will consume any foodstuffs that come his way WITHOUT producing any waste. So you can eat to your hearts content and not gain any weight. You will also save on toilet paper. Take that Sheryl "Ass Fingers" Crow. You will have to also constantly consume to keep tiny gut Cheney alive. For if he perishes, so do you. Another upside is that he can also live on human tears and baby skin. Imagine winning all the soul crushing eating contests! It is recommeded that you have your jaw surgically unhinged and you esophagus widened. Happy Eating!
If you believe in yourself, drink your school, stay in drugs, and don't do milk - you can get work!
It's like I always tell the kids, a quitter never wins and don't trust whitie.
Do you like bowling? Let's play bowling. Breaking down the pins and getting hot communication.
We're here to take your pornography and sodomize our vast imaginations.
My dearest Booze -- I never lose my fondness for you. Each time I drink an ice cold one...it's like the first time all over again!
So romantic!
I feel like a gerbil smothering in Richard Gere's butthole.
Monday Monkey lives for the weekend.
I'll be butt naked behind the trailer waiting for my hot tub.
That's why that troop of "flat chested pygmy sluts" won't deliver girl scout cookies to ya anymore.
this hotdog tastes like zoo
Perky, perky, hands off jerky!
I owned a seamless tunic! But it got caught on a nail and had to be sewn! Does that make it any less divine?
Is there such a thing as a shoe cobbler these days. Just one time I'd like to have a shoe cobbled.
Just say no to "PG"
Skid Row is playing the Executive Inn in Owensboro on July 13th. Who's in? Yes, you could say "the mighty have fallen from grace", but they were never really that mighty, anyway. Nonetheless, who's in?!!!!????!!!!
How long do you think you can hold your breath? Really? We'll lets find out. First put on this wig. Oh, and also sign here. Well its just a formality. If I told you it was a statement of your neverending beauty and grace or a proclamation of your love of self asphixyation, which would you want to believe right now? I like your style. Now lean forward...
I don't know how long I could hold my breath but I held a hot pocket so long once that it melted my dermis, corroded my fascia and melded to my skeleton. No matter how hard I tried, I could not free the tasty morsel from my phalanges.
Eventually the skin grew over the toasted treat and it is now a vestigial appendage that has become quite the conversation piece.
People have compared me to scuzzlebutt, who had Patrick Duffy for a leg, but I think that is a stretch. Well, we all have our burdens to bare.
If you cross a chicken with alcohol, do you get a rooster boozer
Patrick Duffy on a lawn tractor, ahhhhhhhhggggggggggg
Rent Idiocracy! Do it!
Go away! I'm 'batin'!
Welcome to Carl's Jr. Would you like to try our EXTRA BIG ASS TACO? Now with more MOLECULES!
So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?
Your brain on booze, see above
I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home and choke me while I touch myself.
Consumer Advocate Group recommends replacing your wooden dildos with newer space age technologies. While wood has that nostalgic feel and sensual nature, it can harbor bacteria and possibly splinter upon vigorous use. Titanium and Lexan are among the newer more robust materials. If you must continue to use your trusted 'woodie' please have it serviced by a certified dildo specialist.
It's nice to know the CAG is looking out for 'all vaginies'. That leads to another interesting question, which material is best. Rubber is inexpensive, flexible, easy on the lips, but yet has a high coefficient of friction. Plastic is also cheap, rather hard, very rigid, simulating a 'woodie', and doesn't get too hot with extended use. But lets explore a combo unit. A nice soft, supple rubber head, with a firm hard plastic shaft with cooling lines for extra comfort. What a about an infaltable dildo like the 'Reebok' pump shoes. If you are just statring out in the masterbation realm, you would want a thin shaft that wouldn't hurt too much. But with added use and vaginal stretching, one might want to 'pump it up' for added pleasure. Of course, consultation with a professional will be needed.
What about the glass dildos? Don't forget the pyrex!
If I see your hip bones, I'm gonna hook them up to my battery charger and shock some sense into you.
You don't see Shih Tzus straggling around the streets in an old coat "help, alms for the poor".
I went to one of those obedience places once... it was all going well until they spilled hot candle wax on my private parts.
She looks like a cocktail waitress on an oil rig.
When I started here all there was was lampshade warehouses and leather bars, the serious leather bars where you wouldn't get in unless you had a rubber ball stuffed in your mouth, the wine list was tattooed on the bar tender's face. That kind of place. I remember one guy had a bicycle reflector sewn onto one nipple.
which eye?
Leprosy, Flesh Eating Bacteria, Hot Dog Fingers, Government Created Killer Nano Robot Infection.
As the weather warms and we all take to mastubating in the pool, take caution to avoid the intake at the bottom of the pool. While it will provide an extraordinary erotic addition to your self flagellation, it may vacuum out your insides and weld you to the bottom of the pool. The only way out is to swim frantically towards the surface until you have enough inside out intestines slack to swivel around and bite through the tubular walls. Once this is accomplished, exit the pool, tie off your still hanging gut worm(clothespin,chip clip,etc), and proceed to the nearest emergency clinic. Lastly, and I can't stress this enough, be sure to get your climax in. Because of the high impact of this method, you may not get many more chances to experience this particular type of jolly time.
Donald Sutherland once told me to get rid of my Pinto station wagon. I said get off my case Donnie, your hair looks like pubes and you couldn't even avoid those body snatchers.
The first rule of butt sex is dont talk about butt sex. The second rule of butt sex is do not talk about butt sex. The third rule of butt sex is always bring lube.
I dont see the big deal, the guy was just hanging brain.
Those bastard over at Acme Grease and Shovel are ruining it for the rest of us.
Made from long-lasting Pyrex™ glass, the Swirl Glass has a lifetime guarantee, and can be chilled or heated with water to give you even more intense orgasmic experiences.
Is the girl who gets the guy ready and then finishes him for the money shot called a Fluffernutter?
I would say "yes" she is. Good call.
LET'S PLAY STAIN THE COUCH
SHE'S NOT A LESBIAN ... SHE'S A VAGITARIAN
TITALLICA - MASTER OF PUPPIES
Yank My Doodle, It's A Dandy
Gimme that donkey butt and big ol legs, aint no shame in this game, Im gonna break it down and beg like James, Please!
A delicious recipe for ABC Slaw. Place a head of cabbage securely in you ABC or as some ruffians call it the taint. A pair of womens mid thigh support hose will work best for both sexes to keep the cabbage from shifting. Keep the leafy orb down there for 6-8 weeks, do not remove the hose during showers. It is best to have a catheter inserted before attempting this delectable dish. Some of us from the old country prefer the addition of a urinical strain. But keep it simple for your first attempt. Do not shy away from exercise, this in fact adds to the flavor. After about two weeks you may need to add rubber pants to the hose undies to prevent seepage. A constant burning itch tells you its almost done! After the sixth week you will know whether to continue steeping or remove and enjoy. Serves 2-4.
All night long, hey jambo jambo!
Put the gun down or I will be forced to thrash you.
Phtbbbbt!
I keep the desicated skeletons of your imaginary childhood friends in my cellar.
A disturbing trend has arisen in the realm of cartoon and woodland creatures. 'Skinnies' now are proliferating in the outlying areas of Sesame Street, Monchichiland, and Narnia. These previously cute characters are wrapping themselves in overtight latex designed to mimic human skin. Fortunetly, this seems to be confined to the least appealing and nerdy of the characters, much like their counterparts in the human world. Freaks.
The above comment about a hot dog and a hallway reminds me of Madonna. Except the hallway is a abandoned sulpher mineshaft with lichens on the walls and a bunch of the Mogwai pods after they ate a post midnight snack.
I nominate Irenes Little Bar for the after bar for the golf outing. It is also close to Devou. On the same side of the highway!
You're my favorite turd!
So if an eskimo hottie is frigid, she still might be giving it up
Is the first time one whacks the monkey called amateurbation?
Holographic meatloaf! My favorite!
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
I gashmogied her gaflabity with my googus.
Who took the jam outta your doughnut?
Psychosomatic auditory hallucinations.
Carpe deez nuts!
It was just a blur of intravenous drug abuse and unprotected sex, while taking the Lord's name in vain.
How did the coochie now become the va-jay-jay?
Irene's!!!!!!!!!!!!
Isn't "Irene!!" what they yelled at the time of attack in Black Hawk Down? Should we all be concerned?
Coochie, Va-Jay-Jay, cooter, tang...
hoo-ha, virginia, stuff
Foof!
When the bar closes let's do it on the pool table like Jodie Foster did in that porno.
I tried! Towards the end I even pulled out my good boob!
I can’t remember with chickens are you supposed to play dead or punch em in the nose.
I can count to potato
Do it again and you'll be admiring my butt from the pavement with a straw.
Could a bunch of dildos tied together be called a clusterfuck?
Y'know what I would like to do? Walk around in the sun striking a small plastic and rubber ball with a stick that has an enlarged metal end. All the while consuming booze and carousing with others of the same mind set. That would make me feel like Christopher Reeve when he saw Jane Seymore for the first time in 'Somewhere in Time'. Certainly not like he felt when he saw the satin clad Dolph Lundgren wannabe evil sun Luthor created bad guy in 'Superman IV'. I get that feeling when I play golf.
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball
July Booze! July Booze! July Booze! The Queen has spoken.
I can count to three. A one, a two-hoo, a three(crunch!). Oh and thanks for letting me eat your candy, chump.
Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye.
You banging the daughter and the grandma? How much jam you got, man?
I'm not into bestiality, but that's a good-looking animal.
I wish life were more like a porno movie.
Why don't they sell clove cigarettes in Utah? Is there a passage in Hezabaniamahiakah that forbids them? I need answers now!
Is your name Semi because you're the size of a huge mac truck or because you're semi-retarded?
Don't forget to wash your balls.
Strip club, strip club, for where are thy? Strip club, strip club, shot jizz in my eye.
Girl using a vibrator to get her rocks off, arousing, erotic. Guy humping molded rubber pelvis(from sorta famous porn star), so very sad.
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